Sandpit's Day
by The Crazy Talk Kid
Summary: A description of Sandpit's day and the love lives of the W.I.T.C.H. crew.
1. Chapter 1

**An attempt at comedy focused on the forgotten hero of W.I.T.C.H., Sandpit. I enjoy him so there. This is kind of a continuation from my previous story Evil BBQ. Enjoy and review please. A big thanks to Guardian's Light for betaing this piece.**

**The characters in this story are all nine years older than after they defeated Nerissa.**

**Kdh.**

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Sandpit was doing his daily rounds through the city and having a good time while he was at it. He was being at bit absent minded because he was thinking of when the author had sucked all of the forces of evil into a black hole, alternate dimensional dealie. It was pretty cool but now there was nothing to do except zap Phobos with that crazy remote control thing. That got tiring after the first hundred times though.

"Hey big Sandypit!" the little passling Blunk yelled up him, breaking his thought process about his general deep thoughts and his date later. Sandpit quickly noticed that Blunk held a red bladed lightsaber.

"Why do you have a lightsaber?" Sandpit asked in his gravely voice (he could talk now thanks to the kindness and generosity of the great and handsome author of this story). (Humble, aint I?)

"Blunk had it left over from Darth Vader costume," Blunk said dismissively," Anyway, you want to go raise an army of Thanksgiving turkeys from last year so we can teach them how to dance?"

"Umm…," Sandpit said at a loss for words until it came to him," Look Blunk, a trash can."

"Ooh, rotten fish! Ha ha!" Blunk said as he jumped into the can, head first.

"Phew," Sandpit said and then wiped his brow and continued on towards the palace. The people would greet him with waves and smiles as he marched on to the dungeons to take his break. He was walking through the main gates, through the castle, but stopped when he heard something coming from a broom closet. Thinking that someone might be in trouble, he opened the door to find Hay Lin and… Shikamaru Nara making out?! What the hell!?

"This isn't what it looks like!" Hay Lin said quickly trying to straighten up her askew clothes.

"This is such a drag," Shikamaru added in his usual cheery tone.

"I'm gonna go now," Sandpit said as he closed the wooden door and walked away before they could say anything more on about whatever they were doing.

Sandpit was trying to forget what he had just seen as he walked in on as he made his way down towards the dungeons. Under Elyon's rule though, they were now mainly used for storage, barracks, and the cells for the occasional prisoners. It was when Sandpit got to the room he shared with his buddy Gargoyle that he saw not only his roommate but Raythor as well.

"Hey guys," Sandpit said.

"Sandpit," Raythor said with a little solute. Gargoyle just grunted because… because… he just wasn't much of a talker.

"Have you guys seen my comb?" Sandpit asked them as he looked through the dirty clothes and empty takeout boxes from the Silver Dragon that littered the floor," Geez, why do we have so many dirty clothes, we don't even wear clothes Gargoyle?"

"Wait a second, why do you need a comb?" Raythor asked with a confused look at Sandpit.

"So I can clean out any garbage that got into my sand for my date later," Sandpit said as he continued to shift through the junk on the floor and stuff.

"You have a date? With who?" Raythor asked a little shocked.

"We're waiting until we officially go out later to tell everyone," Sandpit said as he held up a passling that he found stuffing it's face in one of the half empty takeout boxes and put it back as he kept looking for the comb," I'm going to pop the question to her tonight."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, how long have you been going out with this girl?" Gargoyle finally asked.

"A couple of years," Sandpit said as he finally found his comb," There you are."

"What?!" Gargoyle and Raythor said as one.

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After the little bout with Raythor and Gargoyle about how he could keep such a big secret from them and then having to deal with Dr. Phil, Sandpit just decided to go ahead with his plans when he walked out into the courtyard to see a very disturbing scene. Will and Cornelia were fighting each other while Caleb was buried up to his knees in dirt and his arms and mouth were covered in chains. Matt, who Sandpit had just recently noticed after he heard a thumping sound behind himself, was pounding his head against the castle wall.

"What's going on?" Sandpit asked Matt who slowly turned to face Sandpit and looked extremely depressed.

"Huh, Will dumped me and now she and Cornelia are fighting to the death for Caleb," Matt said sadly and then resumed hitting his head against the stone wall.

"Hey Sandpit," I said as I appeared next to him out of thin air.

"Sup?" Sandpit asked The Crazy Talk Kid. By this time I had been coming here for awhile because I enjoy it and Cassidy wanted to too.

"I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd check in on things here," I said as I looked of the little battle before us," What's their deal?"

"From what I hear, they're fighting to the death for Caleb," Sandpit said with a sad shack of his head.

"I think that I have an idea," I said as Sandpit watched on and I walked into the middle of the battle calmly and with a click of my fingers, stopped the battle," This is ridiculous, you're friends and teammates besides so you shouldn't be fighting. I will cut Caleb right down the middle and give each of you one of the halves."

"That's cool with me," Will said first.

"Me too," Cornelia added.

"I'm not going to cut him in half," I say in frustration because I thought Hay Lin was the ditzy one of the group," You know what I'm gonna do, I'll just make Caleb a twin."

With the snap of my fingers, Caleb was released from the ground and his chains disappeared, except for the ones on his mouth which he tried desperately to remove. I snapped my fingers again and Caleb was enveloped in a puff of smoke and when it cleared, there were two Caleb's and Will and Cornelia each took one. They were still gagged and were trying to yell for help it seemed.

"Was that a good idea?" Sandpit asked me as I walked back towards him and Matt.

"I don't think so but I know for sure that it's going to cause some chaos," I said to Sandpit with a big grin on my face and solemnly turned to Matt," I gotta go Matt but my three associates are going to hook you up with a new girlfriend and Sandpit here is going to wait here with you."

"Why do I have to stay here with the emo?" Sandpit asked.

"Hey!" the emo yelled angrily.

"Remember that time I let you into Elvis's house for the "private tour" so you could impress your girlfriend?" I asked him with a raised eyebrow.

"Fine, I'll stay here with the emo until they get here," Sandpit said with disgruntlement.

"I am not an emo!" Matt yelled, now extremely angry.

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**Will Matt find a new girlfriend, will Cornelia and Will dating the Calebs cause chaos like I predicted, will Matt continue to be such an emo, and who is Sandpit dating?**

**TBC**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks CCRox4Eva, Guardian's Light, and XV-Dragon for reviewing and my readers for reading. Enjoy.**

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"And that's how I learned that fire turns me into glass," Sandpit said as he tried to make conversation with the emo… I mean Matt.

"Yo, Sandpit, em-Matt, we're here to help you get a girlfriend," Cedric said in his human form as he, Orochimaru, and Chuck the Dark Lord of Activity Directing walked through a fold.

"How are you three going to help me?" Matt asked in shock looking at the three former villains. Orochimaru was tuning his banjo for some reason.

"I'll have you know that I am very good with the ladies," Chuck said in his cheery, businessman like voice beneath his black robes that were embroidered with a smiley face on the front for some unknown reason," I have that on there because I like it."

_My bad, anyway, on with the story._

"It couldn't hurt to listen to you three, so what's the plan?" Matt asked at last, resigning himself to getting help from these three instead of just being an emo," Seriously, stop calling me an emo Crazy!"

_What are you going to do about it while I'm narrating the story emo boy?_

"I'll just stand here and not do anything so your story will be boring," Matt threatened.

_This story is mainly about Sandpit but I need you to move the plot along so do it emo boy or else I'll get a lightening strike remote control for you like the one I have for Phobos. _

"Fine," Matt said finally with a pout.

"Excellent, I have the perfect girl for you, follow me," Cedric said as another fold opened and he, Matt, Orochimaru, Chuck, and Sandpit went through. Sandpit went along just to see how badly this would turn out and get a kick out of it.

"Where are we now, it looks like Heatherfield?" Matt said as he looked up and down the street he was on. It was more of a T-intersection really and they were standing in front of an old Victorian style house.

"Come on, I want you to say hello to Plan A," Cedric said with a creepy smile on his face as the group walked up to the door and Cedric knocked. After a few moments and the sound of someone running, the door swung open to reveal no other than Irma Lair.

"Uh… hey guys," Irma said with a confused look for them," What's up?"

"We were wondering if you would go out with Matt because Will broke up with him to fight Cornelia to the death for Caleb but then the boss stopped them and split up Caleb into two Calebs and they were dragged away by Will and Cornelia against their wills," Cedric said, out of breath and breathing hard.

"You're Plan A if that makes a difference," Chuck added.

"I can play the banjo," Orochimaru said and started playing get-away-music on his disturbing instrument.

"Great for you big O," Irma said with a forced smile for Orochimaru and then she turned to Matt," Sorry but I'm going out with someone right now, we're going to go play pranks on that Steve Newman guy from Canada."

"Who are you going out with?" Matt asked as someone else walked up to the door… it was Ichigo Kurosaki from Bleach. I'll be damned; I always thought she would go out with… well not Ichigo.

"Ready to go get that little pain?" Ichigo asked with an evil grin as he finally noticed the small group outside the door," Oh, hey."

"You mean you two are…," Sandpit said but couldn't finish. A very disgruntled Cedric discreetly slipped Chuck a hundred dollar bill because he had lost a certain bet about Irma Lair.

"Yep, but if things don't work out I'll give you a call Matt," Irma added with a wink as she and Ichigo disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Well, that's it, I'm going home to write depressing poetry," the emo… I mean Matt said as he was about to leave only to be stopped by Chuck.

"No you're not, I have Plan B," Chuck said with an evil grin, quite normal considering he was a Dark Lord of Activity Directing," Come on let's go."

The group of five walked through another fold and this time appearing in front of a more modern house on an average street in the suburbs. Again they walked up to the door and knocked on it waiting for a response. Theresa Cook answered the door and was only slightly taken aback by the strange little group on her doorstep.

"Yes?" she asked a little peevishly.

"Is Taranee home?" Chuck asked as politely as possible and with a smile. Theresa just glared though and wiped that smile right off of his face.

"Why do you want to know? Are you a kidnapper?! You're going to kidnap my little girl aren't you?! I'll rip out your eyes!" Theresa said angrily as she started to throttle Chuck so that his teeth clicked and he was thrown around like a rag doll.

"There's no need for that, we're just here to say hi!" Chuck said while being shaken to death. Theresa stopped shaking him but still glared daggers.

"She's not here, call her cell," Teresa said with an icy glare that made the former villains and Matt cower and she spoke one last sentence before she slammed the door in their faces," If I ever see you again I'll destroy you all."

"Pay up Chuck," Cedric said and held out his hand.

"She wasn't here, that doesn't mean that she won't go out with the emo," Chuck said as he pulled out his cell phone.

"Why would she still live here anyway, shouldn't she be in college or something?" Matt asked the general assembly. He had given up asking them not to call him an emo.

"This is a fanfiction, it doesn't have to make any sense emo," Orochimaru said as he smacked Matt in the back of the head and glared at him.

"Hey Taranee, what's up? This is Chuck the Dark Lord of Activity Directing," Chuck said into his cell phone.

"How does he know her number?" Sandpit asked Orochimaru and Cedric.

"We have magical cell phones that can call anybody we want and they make some mean espresso too," Cedric said as if it were the most normal thing in the world.

"Well I was wondering if you would like to go out with Matt Olsen," Chuck said into his cell phone, that had Hello Kitty stickers on it," Really? (Pause) Are you sure? (Pause) There's nothing I can do to change your mind? (Pause) Not even for money? (Pause) No I don't mean it that way, but- She hung up on me guys!"

"Pay up jerk," Cedric said with a smile and held out his hand. A very angry Chuck walked over and gave him his money from their bet about Taranee.

"What did she say?" Matt asked, fearing the answer.

"Well apparently Taranee is going out with a Caleb triplet because Crazy out of his vast madness created a third Caleb," Chuck said.

"What do we do now then?" Matt asked them.

"Hey I have to get back home for my date guys so if you could drop me off I would really appreciate it," Sandpit added.

"Don't worry, you guys have me and my ninja banjo," Orochimaru said and played a few cords," I have Plan C and if needed Plan D. Both Meridian girls so let's go."

The little group walked through the fold with Matt and Sandpit shaking their heads at Orochimaru's enthusiasm and Cedric and Chuck betting on whether the snake ninja's plans would work.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks CCRox4Eva, Guardian's Light, and XV-Dragon for reviewing and my readers for reading. Enjoy. Kdh.**

**Guest starring CCRox4Eva as herself and Guardian's Light as General Doctor van Mister. I'm just kidding about Guardian's Light. **

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"What horrific idea is this Orochimaru?" Matt asked fearing whatever scheme the snake-like ninja with the banjo was concocting with this so called Plan C.

"We're in the Royal Palace and as luck would have it, here comes Plan C," Orochimaru said as Elyon walked down the marble stairs towards them with a smile on her face. She seemed to be dressed for a special occasion.

"Hello everyone, Sandpit," Elyon said happily halfway down the stairs.

"Ah, good Queen Elyon," Orochimaru said with all formality and a deep bow," I humbly ask if you would go out with Matt Olsen because of the whole multiple Caleb fiasco."

"Umm… I'm afraid that I can't do that because Sandpit and I are going out," Elyon said much to the shock of Matt, Orochimaru, Chuck, and Cedric. The latter actually started to break into tears.

"I though you loved me Elyon! We were going to have a spring wedding in the Swiss Alps!" Cedric said through tears.

"Elyon, now is as good a time as any other so will you marry me Elyon?" Sandpit asked as he got down on one knee and produced a ring from within his sand.

"Oh Sandpit, YES!" Elyon said and she jumped into his arms and they kissed passionately. Elyon got sand in her mouth but it was worth it for her.

"Three things," Matt said and everyone turned to stare at him except for Cedric who was in tears," Congratulations to you two and I hope you are happy together, Cedric I want you to stop crying because you're creeping me out, and if you guys were to get married how would you two… ya know?"

"We already figured out a method," Sandpit said slyly as he and Elyon giggled much to the chagrin off the former villains and Matt.

"So Orochimaru, what or more accurately who is Plan D?" I asked with Cassidy at my side.

"Well Crazy, we're going to talk to her right now, would you two like to come along with us and the lovebirds?" Orochimaru asked.

"If you play us traveling music on your banjo," I said.

"Done," Orochimaru said as he started playing the banjo as Sandpit, Elyon, Matt, Chuck the Dark Lord of Activity Directing, Cedric, Cassidy, and I walked through another fold onto a large steel floor that seemed to be floating in space. There were four people standing on it, two Calebs and two girls.

"I can't believe you made two more Caleb copies Crazy!" Matt said looking at the little group," And Alchemy, why would you let him give you a Caleb copy!? And you, other girl… who are you?"

"I go by CCRox4Eva but you can call me Emma," she said with a smile.

"What universe, story or weird place out of Crazy's head are you from?" Chuck asked.

"I'm an author on FF," she said with a weird look for Matt.

"Matt you have to help us!" the Calebs said as they were tied up so they couldn't get away from Emma and Alchemy. I was just looking away and whistling.

"Sorry Calebs, I'm staying out of your problems," Matt said to them as they were gagged by Emma and Alchemy," Where is Plan D Orochimaru?"

"Here she comes now," Orochimaru said as a tall cloaked figure accompanied by Blunk, who was covered in rotten fish and carrying that same light saber from chapter one, were walking up to the large and disturbing group.

"Blunk present, dun dun dun dun, Blunk sister, Blunkette," Blunk said as the tall figure threw off her cloak to reveal a very, hmm hmm, shapely green humanoid lady with long raven hair that made Matt's jaw drop.

"This is Matt? He is like so cute!" the green skinned Blunkette said as she tackled Matt with a hug.

"It's great that this all ended so well," I said with a cheerful smile and Cassidy on my arm.

"What the hell are you talking about boss? The Calebs are in peril as long as they're being held hostage by five nutty females," Chuck said, not argumentatively but just pointing out the obvious.

"I have a plan."

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"This is just great," Caleb said as he was walking through a mucky swamp area," Crazy splits us up and his plan to help us is to dump us off in some swamp!"

"It could be worse," Caleb said," Crazy couldn't save Caleb from that Emma girl."

"So where is this person who we're supposed to meet?" Caleb asked.

"Me right here," a rough little voice that was distinctly female said from behind some weeds. Out of the weeds came the form of Blunk's Mama.

"You can help us?" Caleb asked. Which Caleb you ask, hell if I know.

"Me can help you but comes at a price," she said slyly.

"If it can change us back into one Caleb then I'll pay it," Caleb number eight said. That doesn't make sense considering that there are only five Caleb clones but what are you going to do about it? Yes, I'm talking to you the reader. Bring it on!

_Knock it off Crazy_.

Come on Cassidy, I'm messing with the readers.

_Crazy._

Fine, on with the story.

"Drink this, make you one Caleb," Mama Blunk said as she proffered a potion that both smelled and looked foul to Caleb number 90210. That's right.

"Bottoms up," Caleb 90210 said rather unenthusiastically. Caleb 90210 nearly threw up from drinking the potion and then there was a flash of light and all the Caleb's, including the one that CCRox4Eva kidnapped, were one again," Yes, I'm-,"

"Married," Mama Blunk said.

"What?!" Caleb said in shock.

"Deal was, me help you, you marry me," Mama Blunk said with a grin.

"Yay! Blunk's best friend is Blunk's step dad!" Blunk said as he jumped up and hugged Caleb. Caleb was in shocked silence and crying, from crazy human females to crazy Passlings. T-T

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"That was a little cruel tricking Caleb like that," Sandpit said to me.

"I owed Blunk's mom a favor," I said.

"Well, how do you plan to escape Emma, Taranee, Will, Cornelia, and Alchemy when they find out what you did?" Cassidy asked.

"What we always do Cassidy, plan how to take over the world!" I said with the Pinky and the Brain playing in the background.

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**I hope you enjoyed it.**

**The End.**

…**or is it?**


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